h a i k u 6

In our history

truly where would the poor be

without the wealthy

h a i k u 5

Shimmering light is

absent without the shadow's

willingness to dance

Kissing Paul

I am perplexed

by this figure cut in rock

the marbled morality

the conservative touchstone

I run my fingers

over the cracks in the stone

and feel a warm breath

escaping the fissures

TAKE A SLEDGEHAMMER TO IT

Liberate the man

from the bondage

of controlling boondoggle

of deified domination

of fearful veneration

Arise Paul

from the tomb

of dusty imaginations

and dirt dry passions

Arise and enter my room

sit stay and talk a while

I am surprised

by Paul's passionate kiss

surprised by the exchange

of breath

and spirit

I had forgotten your doubts and pain

the thorn in your side

the pain of your fragile soul

unable to control your

mysterious urges

What warm body did you confide in

who did you embrace

who did you cling to

in the agony of your humanity

Who kissed you

returning the smile

to your Apostolic face

Who granted you the blessing of fragility

of finding God in our fragility

who reminded you

again in your anger

your despair and sorrow

Who in the body of Christ

touched your body in Christ

Who taught you the mystical kiss

we now share

Who reminded you

that the greatest of all things

is Love

One

Sitting in the dark

on cold brick steps

sitting in the dark

in empty silence

the night breathes

in and out

its trembling breath

Flickering through

the dark green canopy above

is the moon

of the fall

through the leaves

the moon is winking at me

from her empty core of secrets

She is blue white

she is full and hollow

The silence of the night

echos the empty silence

within me

We listen to one another

for whispered awareness

the longing recognition

of sighing persistence

I breathe out

myself into the

moon-cast shadows

In every breath

I pour out countless

molecules of me

Every breath in

is breathing the cosmos into my lungs

and all that exist before it

Every breath in carries the taste of eternity

all that is less than me and more

I am less than dust

awaiting rapturous fulfillment in nothing

into one

Vows

Tomorrow I take vows to cross

thresholds

with my spiritual ancestors

of the desert

and of the old Celtic ways

Pledging myself

silent

heart

mind

body

and spirit

in Jesus Compassionate

To be pierced

in simplicity of service

to be awed

in the simplicity of

God's beauty in

the communion of

humanity and creation

With humility

with fear and trembling

that is living with intention

I come before God

family and community

to declare the communion of us with loving

Father Creator

Brother Healer

Mother Sustainer

and the companions before us

around us

and after us

who happily struggle to realize

Emmanuel within us

Amen

Never Forgetting

The patio of our weekend condo looked east across a lake and cypress trees, I had a beautiful sunrise to share Morning Prayer with.

I prayed for all who lost their lives ten years ago today and their loved ones left to mourn them.

I prayed for them all, victims of "powers and principalities".

I prayed that we all answer God's call to mercy, forgiveness and compassion.

I prayed for the courage to live out God's kingdom in my daily living.

I will never forget.

I will never forget God's compassion.

Compassionate love, love and kindness, is joy to the heart of God.

Praying for those who despise you is a song in God's heart.

Sing then!

Sing a joyful song!

Of all the things we can do, mercy and charity will bring us quicker into the heart of God.

Manifesting

From Paul's dark glass shattered

an ancient shard pierced my heart

a wound for which there is no healing

but instead eternal gratitude

for finally living

it is neither anguish or joy

but some unmapped region in between

Still

driving in a van on 285

dodging angry spirits

behind the wheels of hurtling

4000 pounds of prestige

with chrome wheels

satellite radios and fine leather seats

quietly with a pierced heart

I say The Liturgy For Vans On 285

If this makes me odd then

I'm looking for the community of odd folks

singing "shall our hearts forget his promise, 'I am with you evermore"

giving Christ heads bodies legs and arms

bumbling and stumbling

manifesting God again and again

manifesting in fits and starts

Emmanuel

Emmanuel

now

in you

in me

With Icons

These are prayers which I use with small icons to help me change gears from the daily concerns, calm the heart, soul, body and mind as I prepare to say The Daily Office. The icons are 2"x2". On the left is a Christus Pantocrator and on the right is a Mystical Supper (Last Supper) icon.

The Pantocrator is Jesus, the Sustainer of All, robed in a red tunic which represents his full humanity, and a blue cloak which represents his full divinity. He holds scripture in his left hand while his right is raised in benediction.

The Supper icon shows the apostles and Jesus at the Last Supper, the roof of the room is open revealing the city and hills in the background and angelic beings above all, signifying the focus and participation of all creation in the moment of communion.

I begin by gazing into the Christus, slowing my breath, allowing my thoughts to pass freely from my mind and allowing my heart to open more fully into the present moment.

Then I say the following to refocus my mind onto my purpose and intention, gazing first into the Christus until the prayers reaches the point marked here with a semi-colon, then my gaze turns to the Supper.

Loving Christ, in your compassionate love, you pour yourself out into us completely so that we may be healed, restored, transformed; so that in compassionate love, we may also pour ourselves out into the communion of humanity and creation. Amen.

Purpose

There is darkness

yet in your light it dissolves

as you fill its emptiness

Darkness is not destroyed

but transformed

in the union of your presence

The quality of the bowl never changes

but is simply either being emptied or filled

yet the bowl remains

true to its purpose

whether empty or full

If I see God

in this world or in your face

what else remains

If I fail to see God

it's not because God is absent

but because of the absence

in my eyes

Michelangelo's Moses Has Horns

How thin is the difference

between wrestling with

angels or demons

Feathered wings

or wings of skin

beasties or besties

horns or halos

The degrees of difference

are as a reversed

image in a mirror

or in the flip of a coin

Heads I win

tails you lose

Choosing to be good

under the promise of heaven

or the threat of hell

is not a choice freely chosen

but rather a dark deception of a darker conceit

a bleak concession made at gun-point

Freedom exists in the choice

to do or not do

solely for the sake

of selflessness

without regard to

gain or loss

Milton's fallen ones made one choice

choosing once and for all to reject love

We are blessed to choose continually

to participate eternally

in the eternal blissful friction of creation

The lover's kiss begins and ends

before we can feel it

Who can say

exactly where is the line

where the shadow ends

and the light begins

How good are my eyes

to see shadows

to see light

to see all

in the full depth of being

Michael

Wednesday I was making home deliveries which took me to Jonesboro Rd. At the corner of the 285 ramp and Jonesboro was a man seeking alms. He was old, a rail of a figure in tattered clothes.

His right leg had been amputated at the knee, the joint covered by an old sock. His aluminum crutches were bent and dented, the arm pads gone.His left hand clasped his crutch and an old large plastic cup.

He looked very tired and in pain. I reached for my wallet where I try to always keep some cash for alms giving and it was empty. I looked to him and said "I'm sorry." He shook his head and said "Don't worry, don't worry. God bless you." With his other crutch wedged under his right arm he raised his right hand and his hand formed a peace sign and with his hand he blessed me with a sign of the cross. I have never felt the power of a blessing as I did with his, a blessing from beyond his pain, and from beyond all his suffering telling me, me, not to worry. I asked him his name so I could pray for him. He said, "Prayers mean more than money." Please pray with me for Michael.

Eucharist Prayers

These are little prayers which came to me in meditation for receiving communion.

With the host: You feed me so that I may feed.

With the chalice: You pour yourself out so that I may be poured out.

They remind me that I am but one step in the cycle of the communion with God, humanity and creation.

Still

There are times when a flame upon my crown

is not enough

when I would rather be consumed in it

melted down and recast

or again feel a passion of fire willing

to thrust my hand into it

Still

You always have

a table reserved in me

in my empty space cafe

If your face was the sun

I would give my eyes to hold

your gaze

knowing you would be the

last vision into my memory

Blessed is the breeze now

which carries the rhododendron's breath

back to me and memories of

God's kisses locked in the lover's embrace

First

I was watering the garden

in silence

I noticed her

The Spirit

next to me

I asked her

which comes first

vanity arrogance or anger

She placed her

gentle hand on my shoulder

and said

Son

the closed heart comes first

My heart broke open

To the relief of my soul

I began to cry

the heavy tears of sorrow

Spirit embraced me

she kissed my wet cheeks

then whispered in my ear

Beloved

these tears are

the seed and water

for your

open fertile ground

Children

Having known that I have lived

alone for most of my adult life and

that I was secluded from the church

for nearly thirty years

The bishop asked me

how is now living in community going for you

Good

I answered

He asked

and what is difficult

I answered

as with any family

accepting the peculiarities

and idiosyncrasies of the people

Later while in meditation

I recalled this conversation

and the Spirit spoke

She asked me

what was most difficult

My heart cried out

being humble

To which my mind added

our complaints

are the children of our arrogance

To which my soul replied

our arrogance fathers all our transgressions

Through her laughter Spirit said

oh my

so many children being fathered

by one who's pursuing chastity

Posits

There is no greater act of praising God than to act in love, kindness, justice and mercy.

Posits

Here is my theology: God is Love.

Here is my orthodoxy: I love God through loving.

Here is my rule: Do towards others as I would have them do towards me.

Alchemy

My mouth will never know

the caress of yours

from your deep kisses

I will have no memories

of burning swollen lips

My lips will never taste you

your mouth

your tears

your sweat

your essence

I will never be haunted

by memories of your warm skin on mine

or the enveloping heat of your

arms and legs around me

I will never know the bliss

of my eyes emptying into yours

as I am utterly poured out

into you and left in

the sanctuary of nothing

Still when your hand

lingers on me

I am electric and

I dissolve

into bittersweet simplicity

I float on the sound of your laughter

We are twins

and strangers

I am deeply integrated into you

though never intertwined

it is impossible not to love you

Over an eternity never to be conversed

the distance will be the alchemy

transforming my leaden circumstance

into the pure element of my being