First

I was watering the garden

in silence

I noticed her

The Spirit

next to me

I asked her

which comes first

vanity arrogance or anger

She placed her

gentle hand on my shoulder

and said

Son

the closed heart comes first

My heart broke open

To the relief of my soul

I began to cry

the heavy tears of sorrow

Spirit embraced me

she kissed my wet cheeks

then whispered in my ear

Beloved

these tears are

the seed and water

for your

open fertile ground

Children

Having known that I have lived

alone for most of my adult life and

that I was secluded from the church

for nearly thirty years

The bishop asked me

how is now living in community going for you

Good

I answered

He asked

and what is difficult

I answered

as with any family

accepting the peculiarities

and idiosyncrasies of the people

Later while in meditation

I recalled this conversation

and the Spirit spoke

She asked me

what was most difficult

My heart cried out

being humble

To which my mind added

our complaints

are the children of our arrogance

To which my soul replied

our arrogance fathers all our transgressions

Through her laughter Spirit said

oh my

so many children being fathered

by one who's pursuing chastity

Posits

There is no greater act of praising God than to act in love, kindness, justice and mercy.

Posits

Here is my theology: God is Love.

Here is my orthodoxy: I love God through loving.

Here is my rule: Do towards others as I would have them do towards me.

Alchemy

My mouth will never know

the caress of yours

from your deep kisses

I will have no memories

of burning swollen lips

My lips will never taste you

your mouth

your tears

your sweat

your essence

I will never be haunted

by memories of your warm skin on mine

or the enveloping heat of your

arms and legs around me

I will never know the bliss

of my eyes emptying into yours

as I am utterly poured out

into you and left in

the sanctuary of nothing

Still when your hand

lingers on me

I am electric and

I dissolve

into bittersweet simplicity

I float on the sound of your laughter

We are twins

and strangers

I am deeply integrated into you

though never intertwined

it is impossible not to love you

Over an eternity never to be conversed

the distance will be the alchemy

transforming my leaden circumstance

into the pure element of my being